the beginning

i guess i should say hello and introduce myself, but i figure if you read this it won't take you long to figure me out a little.  well, depending on who you are and stuff it might take you a bit, but i'm pretty much what you see is what you get.   

i write like i talk and that isn't always correct or proper, but what the heck... i'm from middle america, country and a little bit city.  sorry about no punctuation my job allows me to type all day long an not such thing, so no caps, no fancy stuff...  just plain me...

anywho, girls like me??  i bet your wondering what the heck kinda title is that??  well, i'm a big beautiful woman.  a bbw for short.  i'm always feel weird about the beautiful part, but it comes with it....  in my world so far beautiful isn't exactly how i usually see myself.  

i try my best to look nice when i go somewhere and i always smell good, but when you grow up being overweight you never quite grasp the concept that you just might be beautiful.    i was told the other day by a friend that i was cute?  i was astonished and it threw me back a little bit??  what the heck was he thinking??  but then i talked to him about it and i realized he really meant it...  "thanks" i needed that button turned back on...  

my life is kinda crazy and i've always said i would write a soap opera, but then there are points where it's really boring and i know no one in their right mind would watch it.  god knows some days my life bores the heck out of me...

well, today was a good day...  work was slow, trying to make new friends within my job and wanting to be more??  then got to visit with a friend and that was the best part of the day considering the rest of the evening was spent listeing to a "bitchy" teenager, filling the dog food/cat food and making her clean the cat pan...  she always hates that job, but it's done and now i'm doing this... EXCITING!!!!

i did however have a light bulb moment tonight while on my way home from my friends...  i am worth something, i'm worth loving, little symbols of affection, someone to spend time with me.  i want that and i'm beginning to see that i have started to settle for less than what i deserve...  thanks my friend, you know who you are!!!